This is from that much-hyped Daily Show piece featuring embarrassed Washington Redskins fans (which Tumblr won’t let me embed?). At around 12:00 in that video, a fan claims to be 1/12th Cherokee, and as a 1/12th Cherokee, says the team’s offensive name is not offensive to her. The segment is great and really made me question some things — mainly HOW IN THE WORLD IS ANYONE 1/12TH ANYTHING?Let’s talk numbers.Everyone has 2 genetic parents. If one of your parents is from Canada and the other is from America, you are 1/2 Canadian.Everyone has 4 genetic grandparents. If one of your grandparents is from Canada and 3 of them are from America, you are 1/4 Canadian.Everyone has 8 great-grandparents. If one of your great-grandparents is from Canada, etc., you’re 1/8th Canadian.16 great-great-grandparents (your grandparents’ grandparents), you’re 1/16th Canadian.If TWO are Canadian, guess what, you’re back to 1/8th Canadian.If THREE are, you’re 3/16ths Canadian.Fine. (DEEP SIGH)32 great-great-great-grandparents.One makes you 1/32nd Canadian,two is 1/16th Canadian,three is 3/32nds Canadian,four is 1/8th Canadian again.DO YOU SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE. That denominator always has to be the number of ancestors in a generation. I mean, even think about it another way, for her to be 1/12th Cherokee, was her mother 1/6th Cherokee? And her grandmother 1/3 Cherokee? How would that even work?THEREFORE, WE CAN CONCLUDE THAT:In order to be 1/12th Cherokee, this person’s great-great-grandparents consisted of four white couples, three white mothers who cloned themselves and one Cherokee mother who also cloned herself.Or she doesn’t know who in her family actually was Cherokee, if anyone.
This is important work being done by Eric. So we should all read it.
I should point out I also tried to do the math and failed until I remembered that incest existed. If this woman had a great great grandparent who was Cherokee and singlehandedly responsible for five of her great grandparents it works out. Or if three of her great grandparents were full siblings and half Cherokee it works out. But in any case in order for her to be 1/12th anything… Cousins be fucking.
Cousins be fucking, alright. Kirk Cousins be fucking terrible!
My racist childhood team is going to get murdered by the Seahawks next week. I’m counting on it. 1-15. Snyder bails. Change the name.
Chris Gethard, A Bad Idea I’m About to Do: True Tales of Seriously Poor Judgment and Stunningly Awkward Adventure, pp.142-143 (via wiscompton)
Substitute goat for cat and this is pretty close to my personal issues with food and weight.
Time to stockpile the Glenfiddich?
Finally, the news source that’s able to take a complex, multi-layered issue and reduce it to how it might tangentially affect my drinking habits!
Asked by Anonymous
I disagree. Everyone is entitles to their opinion, I just think the quality of writing on Doctor Who and it’s beautiful spirit has gone down since Moffat took over. I could go on a massive rant as to why but my dislike of his writing is well recorded and that’s why I use the tag “Moffat is the worst”.
I kinda feel like neither Moffat nor Davies are the be all end all of Who. Moffat sometimes gets too “LOOK AT MY BRAIN, (but don’t pay attention to the shit that doesn’t make sense).” Davies, on the other hand, had a tendency to veer too much toward after-school special, with his often stilted social commentary and general permeating cheese factor. Both showrunners have glaring faults, but I’ll still watch ‘em both.
Watch this!! Stand up special by @joewengert !! 12:30! @comedycentral East coast that’s NOW. West coast stay excited for 3 more hours!! #JOEYDUBS
Related - if someone could photoshop Kevin Hines’ face onto a cat’s body, I’d be into that.
Chris Gethard is the Servotron of alt comedy. Don’t take my word for it, though. That came straight from the horse’s mouth during our recent conversation.
Hannibal Burress as The Get Up Kids made my night. Who would be The Replacements? Is Louie CK The Pixies?